


Gabriel's apology (and Sam's forgiveness)

by SPNtrash10008



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Brotherly time with Gabe and Cas, Forgiveness, Gay Sex, Hurt Sam, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of past trauma and relationships, Passionate Sex, Sex, This was rushed because I'm tired but wanted to write, denial?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29258538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPNtrash10008/pseuds/SPNtrash10008
Summary: Gabriel just wanted to apologize, but in doing so, he gets a whole lot more than he bargained for.
Relationships: Castiel & Gabriel (Supernatural), Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

A knock on his door caused him to look up from the lore book he was reading. Gabriel stood in the open doorway, his left arm holding his right side as if hugging himself with one arm. Sam pressed his eyebrows together, confused. The look on Gabriel's face was once Sam couldn't read yet. 

"Yeah? Is something wrong?" Sam asked, closing his book and sitting up more. 

Gabriel sighed, pressing his head against the wood of the doorframe before slowly stepping into the room, closing the door behind him. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door. 

"Dean and Cas are out," He said, "So I figured I'd come to see if you were busy." 

"I was just reading, not busy. Why, is something wrong?" He asked. 

"I just," Gabriel started, and he looked down to the floor, inhaling quickly, "I'm sorry." 

Gabriel looked back up at Sam, who took a moment to process the apology. 

"For what?" Sam asked like he was genuinely confused. 

Gabriel scoffed, "Everything? The deadly tricks. Pretending to be something I'm not, no matter how hard I tried to be. Killing Dean over 100 times. Trapping you in stupid TV land. Dying on you when you really could've used extra help," Gabriel listed. 

Sam sighed, shaking his head, "Gabriel. I forgave you a long time ago."

"I know, I know. But you never got a proper apology, and you deserve one. So..." Gabriel threw a hand up in defeat. 

"Well, thank you. And I accept the apology," Sam said. 

Gabriel nodded, swallowing thickly as he pushed himself off the door to leave the room. He opened it, the creak of the hinges hurt his ears, but he ignored it.

"Gabriel," Sam called, stopping him. 

Gabriel turned to look at him, and part of him pulled back as Sam moved closer to the edge of his bed. He felt small, weak, compared to Sam. Granted, he knew he was a powerful archangel, but Sam brought him to his knees so effortlessly, it's like the hunter stole his grace and bottled it. 

Sam sat closer to Gabriel and motioned for him to sit down next to him. Gabriel hesitated, there was nothing Sam could do to hurt him. Least, not physically. Gabriel slowly sat down, keeping as much space as he could on the small bed between himself and Sam. 

"When I first met you, I thought you were..." Sam started, "Amusing. You had this space around you that I couldn't help but grin in." 

Gabriel glanced over at Sam, wondering where this was headed because part of him didn't like the chances. 

"Then, we figured out who you were. At least, who you were posing to be. We thought we'd killed you, and that space, that aura ended. It kinda left me empty. I barely knew you, and you had a big effect on me." 

Sam adjusted on the bed, but he didn't look at Gabriel. 

"Come to find out, you weren't dead. But that aura around you, I couldn't find it. Maybe it was because I was so angry about what you were doing. To me, to Dean. I actually tried looking for that space, that comforting area around you that I'd felt the first time we'd met. I tried, and I couldn't," Sam almost shrugged. 

"Lost you again, found you again. Only this time, tv land," Sam said, before chuckling, much to Gabriel's surprise. "That, you really don't have to apologize for. Other than hitting me in the nuts and slapping me and genital herpes," Sam hummed and Gabriel stifled a laugh. "Which, I'll admit, it's funny. But other than those things, TV land was kinda...fun. Annoying, and don't send me back, ever. But, looking back, it was kinda fun." 

"I found that aura again when we talked. Part of me kinda felt...safe," Sam looked at Gabriel, finally. "I felt safe, looking at what I considered an enemy, which is when I knew, something was different. Something else was going on. I've never felt like that around someone me and Dean were supposed to be working against. Not even Ruby." The way her name fell of Sam's tongue, Gabriel knew Sam was still working through that experience. 

"You knew I wasn't all I was saying," Gabriel whispered, looking at the floor. 

"I could...feel your power. It was too strong to be just some trickster god. I've always been able to feel it. I've just never noticed it until I felt Lucifer's power," Sam said. 

"Why are you telling me this?" Gabriel asked. 

"You asked me, a while ago, why I seem fine around you. Why I forgave you without a verbal apology," Sam said. 

Gabriel had, they'd been arguing, and instead of Sam bringing up their past, Gabriel had. He's brought it up and tried to get Sam to use it against him, but Sam wouldn't. It confused Gabriel. 

"I was repulsed by Lucifer's power. What I knew my body could handle, it could hold that. It made me wanna throw up. Being with you, feeling your power, it's almost just as strong as he was, but," Sam sighed, "you never repulsed me in that way. Your power, it drew me. It still draws me in. I'm not even your vessel, but it still does." 

"I don't understand..." Gabriel whispered, and Sam chuckled, looking at the youngest archangel. 

"Since the day Lucifer stabbed you, I became aware of a truth I never thought possible," Sam said. "I'd fallen in love with you." 


	2. Chapter 2

Gabriel almost fell off the bed. 

"What- how?! After everything?" Gabriel asked, standing. 

All Sam could do was shrug. 

"You're asking a human why its emotions do what they do. I have no answer to that, and I've looked everywhere for it," Sam said. "I think it started back in at the university, tiny little adoration, something like that. Then, that was interrupted by the mystery spot, but it never fully went away. I'd have dreams at night about you, nothing wrong just...with you in them. They confused the hell out of me, after everything you'd done, part of me didn't..." Sam sighed, "Apparently just didn't care." 

"You," Gabriel whispered, "You loved me?" 

Sam chuckled, "Still do," He responded. "You wanted to know why I forgave you so easily? So quickly? There you go." 

Gabriel stared down at Sam like this was some elaborate joke that was going to shatter him. 

"I never truly stay mad at the people I love. I came to notice that very early on," Sam said. 

"You stayed mad at your dad," Gabriel said and Sam chuckled. 

"I think part of me wanted to, and that part of me I used to seem mad at him. Still do sometimes, but," Sam sighed, "I got over it after my first year at Stanford. 'Course, old wounds were broken and that forgiveness was put on the back burner until he died, but still. I never truly stayed mad at him for more than a year, I was just petty and bitter," Sam joked. 

Sam stood as well, "But, do with that information what you will. Honestly, I came to terms with it all a long time ago, figured you should know." 

Sam moved to leave his own room, walking past Gabriel as he opened the door. Gabriel stayed staring at the spot on the bed, "Sam," He called as he heard Sam's steps enter the hallway. 

"Yeah?" Sam asked. 

Gabriel turned to face him, "I-" Gabriel opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Sam gave him a small smile. 

"Don't Gabriel. Whether it's a rejection or a reciprocation. Believe me, it's better I don't know," Sam said gently, sadly, before walking down the hallway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of this are OOC for Cas, but honestly, I've never been good at writing him so here we are.

Gabriel sat on a bed, picking at his nails. A trait he picked up from studying Sam. He watched the Winchester for as long as he could. He gained some of his mannerisms. 

The door opened, and Gabriel looked up. 

"Gabriel?" A deep voice called. 

"Castiel," Gabriel responded, and Cas flicked the light on, making Gabriel almost wince to the light, as he'd been sitting in the dark for so long. 

"What are you doing in here?" Cas asked. 

"I...I need someone to talk to," Gabriel said, sounding defeated. 

"Sam's busy?" Cas asked. 

"No, it's about Sam. Dean hates me, so...I thought I could talk to you. If not, I'll leave. I just..." 

'No, please. Stay," Cas said quickly, and Gabriel smiled a bit. 

They'd always been close, before the fall, before Gabriel left. Gabriel showed Cas the way the angels work when he was a fledgling. Dad always had the archangels raise the younger ones like children. It was ridiculous, but it caused a great bond to form for some of the angels. 

Cas sat down in front of him and tilted his head, looking oddly worried. 

"Brother, what's wrong?" Cas asked. 

"Sam said he loved me," Gabriel whispered. "After everything that I've done to him, and he loves me?" 

"Sam has... a reputation of falling for people who could or have hurt him, yes," Cas said bluntly and Gabriel chuckled. He'd forgotten how Cas was still unfamiliar with everything. 

"I know...but after those things double cross him or his brother he usually snaps," Gabriel said. 

"Didn't he already after that Wednesday?" Cas asked. 

Gabriel chuckled, nodding, "Not what I meant," He said. 

Cas tilted his head in confusion and Gabriel shook his head with a small smile at Cas's ignorance. 

"It doesn't matter, what matters is," Gabriel sighed, "I don't know what to do." 

"Well," Cas mumbled, "Do you love him back?" 

Gabriel sighed, looking to the side, avoiding Castiel's eyes. 

"We're not supposed to love humans. Not in that way," Gabriel said. 

"We're also not supposed to run away and hide for hundreds of years," Cas countered. 

"That's not fair," Gabriel claimed, slightly glaring at Cas. 

"And neither are those rules. They expect us to come down here to study and protect. To punish and prove to these humans. But God made us no better than them. If we weren't supposed to love them, why allow us to love at all?" Castiel asked. 

"Maybe He didn't. Maybe he didn't allow it. We were never good at following orders," Gabriel pointed out. 

Cas halfway chuckled and nodded, "Well, then what's the point of trying to follow them now?" He asked. 

"You speak as if you're in my situation? Tell me, have you fallen for a human? A certain green-eyed hunter?" Gabriel teased. 

"We're not talking about me right now," Cas said, shutting Gabriel down immediately, "In any case, just tell him. He deserves to know." 

"He told me not to," Gabriel whispered, looking at the sheets. 

"What do you mean?" Cas asked. 

"He asked me not to tell him. Rejection or reciprocation, he doesn't want to know," Gabriel said, just then realizing how badly it hurt him. 

"He's scared, Gabriel. He hasn't let himself have a true physical connection outside of family in years. He's lost many lovers, and he's scared of losing another," Cas said. 

"How do you know that?" Gabriel asked. 

"Dean's talked to me too, he knows how Sam feels about you. Apparently, that's what Sam told him. Sam deserves what he believes he can't have," Cas responded. 

"Wow, there are no secrets in this bunker, huh?" Gabriel laughed. 

"There can be when we're truly trying to deceive," Cas said, and Gabriel chuckled again. "But, I also know Sam. More than you'd think. Whether or not he thinks he wants to know, deep down he does. He's just scared for what either response could mean." 

"He fears rejection, but he also fears losing someone else," Gabriel whispered, and Cas nodded. 

"Whatever happens next, is up to you and you alone, Gabriel. I highly encourage you to prove to him that he can love without being fearful of losing it again," Cas said. 

"And if he does? If I do, truly stay dead?" Gabriel asked. 

"You're an archangel, I'm sure you could find ways around that," Cas said, "But, losing another love could close him off. Completely. And honestly, that's a part of Sam, that no one is ready to see."

Cas stood, and Gabriel watched him as he stepped to the door, "Emotions are not easy, especially not love. But that's what makes this world, these humans, so loveable. So make your decision. You know I'll support you either way. I always have, brother," Cas said. 

"I know, and thank you. Brother," Gabriel whispered. 

Cas gave him a meek smile, before leaving Gabriel alone with his thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's your smut

It'd been a week since the conversation between Sam and Gabriel. Gabriel had been pacing around the bunker for a day down, stressing Dean out but he never told him off. They'd slowly stopped bickering at everything and Dean kinda just left him alone. 

They were alone again. Sam and Gabriel. Dean went out, probably to a bar, Cas went with him. Maybe Cas would have better luck with his hunter. Gabriel found his way to Sam's room and paused in his tracks. He sighed, taking a deep breath closing his eyes, and counting to ten. Then, he knocked. 

"Yeah," Sam's distracted voice called. Gabriel slowly opened the door and found Sam reading a book again. 

"Is that all you do when you're alone? Just...read?" Gabriel asked. 

"What else am I going to do?" Sam chuckled. 

"I dunno, eat? Sleep? Jerk off?" He suggested and Sam scoffed. 

"Not Dean, remember?" He asked, and Gabriel chuckled, shutting the door behind him. "What's up?" 

"I," Gabriel said, "We need to talk." 

"Gabriel I said-" Sam started, looking down the floor

"I know what you said, and frankly, it's dumb as hell," Gabriel said, causing Sam to look at him again. "Look I get it. This life is hard, full of bullshit and loss-" 

"Gabriel, I can't." 

"Can't what? Can't take the possibility of the thought that I might love you back?" Gabriel asked. 

"I can't- can't take this chance. I've lost too many," Sam whispered, looking up at him. 

"Then why tell me?" Gabriel asked, "Just to have it eat away at me?" 

"No-" 

"Just so I can replay in my head that we fell for each other but can't have it?" 

"No, Gabriel-" 

"Then what is it? Why tell me? Why have me screaming in my head for days? It's like you enjoy seeing me struggle with my own feelings that I can't process!" 

"Because I couldn't process it anymore! I couldn't hold it! I couldn't look at you and pretend that there's nothing there! I can't just look at you, watch you, hang out with you, knowing that I have feelings that I could never truly get into because I am terrified of losing you!" Sam snapped. 

They both fell silent, and Sam sighed slowly. 

"I can't lose anyone else. Not Cas, not Dean, not you. I told you because I needed you to know the truth. The truth why I forgave you, the truth why it's so easy around you to relax. The truth to why I'm willing to look past everything you've ever done to me. You've been lied to so much, you deserved some truth." 

Gabriel could see the tears in the hunter's eyes, even as he tried to hide them. He felt them in his own eyes as well. 

"Then why won't you let me love you back?" Gabriel asked, trying to ignore the quiver in his own voice. 

"Because if I lost you, I don't think I would make it," Sam whispered, and Gabriel felt the world underneath him sway. 

"We," Gabriel coughed to clear his throat, "Sam, we can do this. Sure, shit happens, but I...I'm stubborn. You know that. I don't leave, or die, easy." 

"I can't take that chance. Whether it's your death, or I fuck something up so bad-" 

"What in the world could you possibly do to make me leave? That I probably haven't already done? Sam, if anything I'm the fuck up. Yet, here you are. Please," Gabriel whispered, stepping closer to Sam, who tried to avoid his gaze and keep his tears in.

Gabriel swallowed thickly sitting down next to Sam, "Sam. I've forgotten what it's like to love. Please, show me." Gabriel raised a hand to frame Sam's cheek.

"I am," Sam humorlessly laughed, "The worst example you could ask for," Sam whispered, leaning into the touch desperately. 

"I think I'll be the judge of that," Gabriel whispered. 

Their lips met, finally. A warm hand held Gabriel's cheek and jawline, holding him close in the position. Gabriel's hand slipped back into Sam's long, unsurprisingly soft, hair. The angel instantly fell under Sam's lead, he gave everything to the hunter. Sam accepted all of it. 

When Sam had to pull away for oxygen, Gabriel let him. It took self-control not to claim those lips again, but Gabriel had been alive since the dawn of time, he had a little self-control left within him. Instead, he just gripped the back of Sam's head, scared he was going to try and leave.

Sam pressed their foreheads together, and Gabriel took in Sam, filling his senses with the hunter. 

"Please," Gabriel whispered. "Just...show me." 

"Gabriel." 

"Please." 

Sam didn't stall any further. He pressed their lips together again, pulled Gabriel into his lap, and held him tight. Gabriel held him just as tight, trying to act like he didn't just desperately whimper from Sam's large hands moving him. 

Guess Sam was in a mood to show him mercy because he didn't show he heard it. 

Their kiss ranged all over the place. From hesitant to desperate. From desperate to passionate. The feeling of need that washed over them, they need to touch and hold and feel. It wasn't ignored for long. 

Whether or not it was supposed to lead to this, it did. Their clothes scattered on Sam's floor, the hunter hovering over the angel as they couldn't keep their lips off each other. Gabriel whined as Sam finally release his swollen lips and started kissing down to his neck. Gabriel clutched at Sam's shoulders, trying to move his hips up against Sam's.

At one point or another, Gabriel didn't know, his mind was foggy, Sam'd grabbed something from the side table. He soon came to realize it was lube, and Sam started to prep him the old fashion way. Gabriel was so needy and desperate, he was willing to do anything for Sam. 

Pushing the first digit in was easy, and Gabriel got quickly adjusted. The second was similar but made Gabriel fall apart much more. Gabriel's head fell back against the pillow, a needy high-pitched whine came from this throat. He would've been embarrassed if he cared enough. 

The third finger just made Gabriel more demanding and desperate, he wiggled against Sam's hand begging him. "Pleasepleaseplease. Fuck-" 

Sam shushed him, and Gabriel whined loudly as Sam's fingers brushed that bundle. His whole body clenched. It'd been a while, and his leaking cock couldn't hand much more teasing. 

"Dammit, Sam. Fuck," Gabriel jolted, "Please." 

Something about the word please just fucked with Sam's head. 

Sam pulled his fingers free, and Gabriel held back his complaint of being empty. He took a few useless breaths, then felt something large prod his entrance. 

Feeling Sam fill him was an experience Gabriel was never going to let himself forget. Feeling stuffed full, like you're going to crack down the middle, was intoxicating. Gabriel moaned needily, gripping at Sam's shoulders. 

It took a moment for movement to happen, but it did, and Gabriel couldn't have been happier when it did. His dull nails dug into Sam's back, but neither one seemed to care about the marks left on Sam's back as he thrust into Gabriel. 

"Yes- ah fuck- yes," Gabriel panted, and Sam's hand found its way to Gabriel's hip. 

Sam's hips moved faster, and Sam pressed their foreheads together. Gabriel raised a hand to grip into Sam's hair. Hot air filled the room, the smell of sweat and sex around them heated them. Gabriel kept giving words of encouragement, begging him. 

Every time Gabriel would say please, Sam fell victim to whatever he asked. 

"Please, baby. Please I need it, need you," Gabriel whispered. "Need to come, please." 

Sam groaned above him, his hips a steady pace, thrusting into Gabriel, his blunt head directly pressing against Gabriel's prostate with every movement. It made Gabriel gasp and moan every time. 

"Please, oh please. Fuck yes, please," Gabriel babbled. 

"Say it, Gabriel. Come for me and say it," Sam whispered. 

Gabriel would never deny Sam. 

"Fuck! I love you, Sam! Ah shit-" 

Gabriel's body jolted as he came, he gripped onto Sam as he did, pulling him down to kiss him through the orgasm. Sam continued to thrust, moving robotically within him. Gabriel gasped as he pulled away, his cum spread against their stomachs. 

"Come in me, please. Sam, let me feel you. Fill me," Gabriel whispered. 

"Fuck," Sam groaned, and Gabriel whined with every oversensitive shot of pleasure rushed through him. 

Sam's orgasm filled him, and Gabriel's eyes rolled back. He marked Sam one last time with his nails, his body trembling from the feeling. He knew Sam had to be exhausted, so he quickly came back to his senses. 

Sam's seed was already about to spill out of him, but using a little extra help, Gabriel made sure that didn't happen as Sam pulled out. Sam leaned down one last time, kissing him. Gabriel massaged the back of Sam's scalp. 

Sam pulled back, "Should clean up," he whispered. 

Gabriel didn't bother snapping, and Sam smiled as everything was back to its innocence. The room and bed left no trace of anything naughty happening, other than two very naked men. Sam laid next to Gabriel, and the angel couldn't help but curl into him. 

"I meant it, Sam." Gabriel said gently, "I love you." 

"I love you too," Sam whispered. 

Gabriel made sure no nightmares entered Sam's mind as he fell asleep. Whether or not they were supposed to. Whether or not Sam feared history was doomed to repeat. Gabriel would try, and he would fight. 

Sam deserved that much.


End file.
